We can all agree motherhood is frustrating and challenging…. You know that moment at the end of the day when you’re putting them to bed… and despite the fact that earlier in the day when you lost it because an entire jar of cinnamon was dumped in the pancake batter, you are still overcome with such love and gratitude for this little person? I want to be able to feel that feeling throughout the all the “cinnamon” incidents. I’m letting so much of my stuff take over otherwise “normal kid moments” and I want to be OVER MY STUFF already.
I’ve decided to put myself out there come what may and give myself a pep talk.
1) Your parents love you and are proud of you even though you aren’t an award-winning someone. This is the actual truth. Stop being ridiculous. You are a grown woman. They admire your tenacity. They think you’re a pretty brave woman for taking the road less traveled that has landed you 3,000 miles away. They want you to be happy and healthy and that’s literally it. Stop feeling guilty for all they’ve done for you. They’re amazing and supportive. You hit the jackpot having these two incredibly loving people as your parents. Treat them well when they visit. Pick up the tab (thank you husband). Show them a good time. Be joyful . Stop complaining because it’s driving your mother nuts!
2. Your husband loves you even though you aren’t perfect . Newsflash – when you met him, you weren’t perfect . You were not super skinny. You had (have) a soft belly and soft arms. You were driving a hooptie and waiting tables. He loves you. He thinks the world of you. You are none of these silly things you worry about. You are a beautiful, sensitive, creative, soul and you have so much to offer. You frustrate him because you don’t believe it. You beat yourself up constantly. Imagine what you can do with all of your time together if he doesn’t have to constantly remind you to stop putting yourself down. Your self-deprecating humor has not landed you an HBO Special so I think it’s time to let that go because IT’S NOT SERVING YOU. Celebrate the fact that you are married to someone who you love deeply and remember he chose YOU. Enjoy it.
3) You are worth something. Stop putting a dollar amount on your worth. Would you ever put your mother down because she didn’t run a successful business while raising 3 kids? ? Your mother was (IS) the one who made every single day happen. She was there for you for every homework assignment, school project , and exam; she gave you every meal, wiped every tear and kept your home beautiful and running!! She is EVERYTHING and SO ARE YOU! Consider yourself and your feelings . You are not selfish for caring for yourself . It’s ok to say,”…. I’m tired , can you get her breakfast today so I can sleep a little more?”. He won’t divorce you . You matter. You all need each other to be healthy and happy and prosperous.
4. It’s ok you haven’t found your niche in life . Do you think everyone else has and you’re the one person in the world who feels unfulfilled in that way??? Relish in the fact you care so deeply about what work you (will) do. Create. Write. Surround yourself with positive creative people. Breathe . Meditate . You are alive . You have plumbing ,cable, wi-fi and several types of chocolate in your freezer. Life is QUITE good and you KNOW this. Remember – there is no place you are expected to arrive. You are IN IT. You did not miss an exit to your destination. There is no “adult place” where it’s all perfect despite whatever childhood fantasy you are choosing to hold onto .This is IT. Make it yours. How many quotes and books and memes do you have to read/share/ like on social media before you actually believe them??
5) Believe in yourself. Other people’s belief in you feels good but it means nothing if you don’t believe it yourself. You are smart, funny, talented, and beautiful. Really you are. Just because you aren’t a media mogul with your own business and 100,000 Instagram followers, you are STILL all of those things. It’s ok to know that. It doesn’t make you conceited. You are capable to achieve whatever it is you desire. BELIEVE THAT IT IS TRUE. Make time to DO that. Make time for YOU. Remember you have an equally smart, funny, beautiful daughter who is watching and listening to all that you say and do. She is incredible and kind, hilarious and bright. You have had something to do with that. Take pride in it! That is HUGE. It will make life a little easier to know that YOU are actually on your own side for once.
AND ABOVE ALL – GRATITUDE GRATITUDE GRATITUDE FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL BLESSED LIFE